
A few weeks ago, I invited my daughter to have her
first miniature painting lesson, which she enthusiastically accepted. I have been
waiting for an opportunity for a second invite, but time has been hard to find during the busy school year.
I had a go this past Sunday afternoon, as we were all at
home with no plans. In retrospect, this may have been a poor decision as we had gone swimming that morning, which generally leaves the kids exhausted. It’s probably a better time for reading stories than
trying to teach painting, but I was excited to give it a try, as I had planned
something special.
After our first session, I decided to find my daughter a
miniature that would really excite her. She’s really into unicorns at the
moment, so I figured that would be perfect. I knew Reaper did a good one in
their
Bones line, so it wouldn’t cost too much. As it turned out, it proved a little
tricky to find one in the UK, but I eventually did with
Spirit Games (great
service by the way, and extensive Reaper selection).
So, I invited her to come paint with me, and when she
accepted, I presented her with the miniature. She greeted it with mild
excitement, and we sat down to get to work. My plan was two-fold, to continue
with a main focus on care of the brush, but also to see if I could engage her
imagination by asking questions about the unicorn – what is its name? what
adventures has it been on? My wife is very good at inspiring this kind of creative play with the kids.
As it turned out, the whole session was a bit of a
failure. She spent about ten minutes painting the unicorn. She destroyed the
paint brush (well, for my use anyway, it’ll probably still work for her), and
she wouldn’t really engage with my questions. We did name the unicorn
‘Rainbowmane’, but that was my suggestion. Then she said she was done and left
the table. She immediately went and joined her mother and brother in the zoo
they were creating in the living room.
It is perhaps worth pointing out that this is a girl who
can happily colour, or do crafty bits with paper, all on her own, for an hour or
more.
I sat there for a few minutes, looking at her unicorn
abandoned on the table, and my own miniature that had only had a colour or two
applied, and ruminated on the challenges of parenthood. I knew my daughter was tired, and I think she did actually enjoy those
ten minutes, but I was so hoping for more – more time – more connection.
A lot of the time, when you are a parent, you feel like you are treading water - just trying to survive the day, keeping the kids protected, fed, and clean. For the most part, you don't expect any thanks for these things, and perhaps none is deserved. But, when you go out of your way to set up something fun, and really put some care and attention into it, in the hopes it will lead to some quality time, it hurts when it falls flat.
I cleaned up and put the paints away.
The next day she did ask if she could put grass (flocking)
on her unicorn, like I did with my miniatures. We couldn’t do it at that
moment, but I told her we would the next time we painted…